We had our first couple of days at the Bank and there are some great briefs on our desk. After dark we sit down and get out the special pens to work on spec work for our portfolio. And we decided to post a new campaign every week. It might not make the book, maybe it will be in a very early stage or whatever but it's gonna to be a good exercise, right? Right! So here's the first campaign, a quick one.
65 comments:
Hi guys,
I'm from the other side of the world (I'm a copywriter in Australia), I stumbled across your site a few months back and have been dropping by ever since.
I think putting up weekly work is a great idea. It keeps you guys doing new work and it'll, hopefully, reduce the negative comments on the blog from people accusing of not doing new work. So kudos for doing so.
Being from Australia I did't know what Innocent was at first but after a quick search and found it was a smoothie company. So off the bat there isn't much in the ad that tells me anything about smoothies but in saying that perhaps to someone with prior knowledge of the brand that isn't necessary.
Looking at the ad I’m guessing the strategy is something along the lines of ‘Innocent is fruit for kids who don’t like eating fruit’? I think there’s a good starting point there but I think the execution is a bit pun-ish.
Is there a way to make more use of the headline without using the word 'alien'?
I just don't get it?
Jai: Some kids are like totally alien to fruit, they don't...
Wal: Wait! That's it!
Jai: What?
Wal: They're ALIEN. Don't you see? That's the idea. We make fruit look like aliens!
Jai: So, you're saying, we could use like..um...a pineapple for a head!
Wal: Exactly!
Jai: Wal, you're a genius.
Wal: No, you're the one who said 'alien'.
Jai: Yeah, but it takes a genius to spot a good idea.
Wal: I love you Jai.
Jai: Aw c'mon you old fool. We got some ads to write!
what if your line was something like
'it's from another world'
'fruit in disguise'
'they wouldn't believe it' (kids that is, wouldn't know it's fruit)
All completely off the top off my head (as you can probably tell), so ignore it if you will but as the above person said take out 'alien' from your headline, it would avoid the repetitiveness of alien imagery and the wording.
hello there, thanks for your comment!
the executions are quite basic indeed, we need to figure out if the strategy's any good and push the execution, will try to make them not punny at all :)
re 10.11
I take it you don't have a job... your advice is shocking.
W&J... I like the idea of putting up work but do you really want advice from a bunch of people without jobs or your rivals being bitches...
I do have a job at a decent place, I quite like the idea but does feel a bit of a first idea.
There is something true about kids and fruit, when Jamie Oliver showed fruit to kids on his School Dinner show most did not know what a pineapple was or a melon, so I'd keep going but try and avoid puns.
I have seen fish in disguise for Fish Fingers and a Campaign for Vegetables. Because kids tend to genuinely dislike those foods. But not so sure fruit falls into that category. Obviously it's your first thought, but you shouldn't have stopped there you should have kept going till there was nowhere else to go.
you two seriously need to come up with fresher work, it all seems to be rather lame or i've seen it before. first off, learn how to write endlines that don't sound like endlines. the communictaion here's all wrong. you're saying for kids that are alien to fruit, but you're showing alien fruit. just doesn't make sense. the whole fruit in disguise strategy has been done to death anyway. bin it and move on, YOU MUST BE ABLE TO DO BETTER THAT THIS!!!!
good idea to put your work up to get some feedback. Every comment is like a crit. Very brave. Kudos for that guys.
fair enough, it was quite a quick one as said before, next week we'll have something with more thought behind it. thanks for all the input guys & girls.
I'm not sure your target audience would be 100% right.
I imagine innocent to be a little more grown up, in terms of children wanting squash not a smoothie. Perhaps I'm wrong!?
There's absolutely nothing wrong with trying to get kids to buy into the brand though, and get real fruit into them.
Do kids really dislike fruit though? Vegetables i.e. sprouts sure but alien to a banana, apple or orange I'm not sure.
Keep going with it, I know you said it's an early idea so no-one should expect a polished idea.
And 10:39 just because you deem someones comment as useless doesn't make your view correct, even if you have a job at a 'decent' place. What good does having a gibe at someone do you or Jai&Wal?
re 02.26
stop being pathetic, the persons suggestions at 10.11 are rubbish,not debate.
it's the trouble with students giving other students advice.
stop blowing smoke up each others arses and get a reality check.
J and W, all your thinking should be big ideas, not small play on words.
Even people who are in work at good agencies, have bad ideas and make poor comments - it's not just students!
Suggesting other ways to say the same thing Wal&Jai are already portraying is not complete rubbish - sure they're not great lines from 10.11, but nobody is here to do the work for them! To be honest the strategy is not great (yet) to be brainstorming from.
I think they're right to say duplicating yourselves in line and imagery is not good, each element should give you something different otherwise you need not have one or the other of image/endline.
ok so now i understand why you guys don't have a job yet. Though i do understand your not going to show your best work but still...
ok must also say that the 'kids alien to fruit' idea still doesnt tell me why kids are now going to like/get their fruit just as its in a smoothie form. Also as the first comment says he didn't know what innocent was at first, maybe you need something that makes this clear. Hope this helps but thats obviously just my opinion. Would be cool as well to see the new idea each week plus the improved version from the week before with the help from posters comments
Look how much feedback you have already. This is a great idea to put work up. No matter who is critting you.
Jai and Wal, listen to comments from people who leave their names. Secondly, do your ads say Innocent Smoothies or Smoothies in general? What makes Innocent different? If you haven't got it buy their recipe book. Study the tone of voice. It's childlike and funny (maybe not so much now since they sold out to Coke).
Good luck.
That would mean listen to only yourself Raymond Chan and perhaps The Douche de Richlieu...
Anonymous posts are invalid?
I do however agree that those who generally put their names to their comments will stand by what they have to say, often with helpful advice.
Considering what makes innocent different is a very good point.
How would it specifically encourage children to want fruit?
Why buy innocent over the supermarkets own brand?
Think about your target audience. Is it mums who worry about their childs health rather than directly to the child?
Who currently buys innocent and why?
Work out your brief first, then get cracking with the strategy and creative stuff.
I also agree it'd be good to see what changes you make to these ads following peoples feedback. It's a good idea to utilise your readers in this way, some if not all feedback will surely be helpful?
Look forward to seeing your next campaign as well as development on this. Good luck.
Maybe this could be a bit more specific and promote their kids range, rather than the entire brand?
10:39:00 AM the bloke with a "job in a decent place", you arrogant twat, so that entitles you more than the others to have an opinion then? No, it doesn't. And if you're so confident, why stay anonymous? Pathetic.
Wal, Jai. Don't be afraid to listen to everyone, what you take in is entirely up to you. That's called judgment and you'll need lots of it if you are to stay in this career so don't just listen to the know-it-alls (for all I know they could be a bunch of cleaners having fun in the CD's office)
I think it's great to commit yourselves to do new campaigns every week. Just one every week falls a bit short to me though. It should be one every 2 days if they are just roughs. It'll help you move faster instead of sitting for too long on something that doesn't quite work.
Also, I'd stay away from Innocent or any brand that is already famous for its advertising. Unless the idea is utterly brilliant.
x,
Mandy.
thanks for your comment mandy. you're right about the brand choice, we'll pick something more difficult for next week. but i doubt we can do more than one campaign a week, as there's lots of work to be done for the Bank where we freelance. and there are other projects in the making i shall tell you about soon :)
Jai and Wal, maybe the idea isn't an ad. Years ago I remember a great idea to ease children's fear of injections at the doctor's. The syringe was designed to look like a cute fish with the needle poking out from it's mouth. So how about looking at the packaging instead?
Kids - Fruit - Innocent (innocence)
If you do persist with this brand then there is certainly something more to be mined from that methinks. Innocence and kids match up - how far can you take that natural pairing?
Think about how you'd communicate with children, not just the parents. Perhaps?
As has been said, good idea to get work up every week. You've got an audience that includes people you want to employ you , so really use 'em and show that you can learn.
what a load of bollocks this thread is
like a few people have said, good idea sticking up new work.
but i'll also say that the work you should stick up, should be better than this. It's not the worst work i've ever seen but it's still pretty shit.
i look forward to what else you guys come up with, at least you're doing new stuff. I've seen some shit books and teams not improving them due to arrogance or lack of energy. So i salute you for always trying to improve your book. keep it up and it will come.
Most people ive met that went to bucks got a job within 6 months of graduating. Havn't you guys been going round in circles now for 3 years and its a recession, don't you guys ever wonder if you should pack it in - i mean wal your nearly 27 most people at that age are at least mid weight. Don't get me wrong i really respect you guys for not giving up and holding onto your dream but it must scare some graduates who are reading your blog shitless.
I have to agree with 04:15:00pm
Im from bucks too, I really admire you guys for sticking at it for so long, and Im not going to go down the route of being shitty about you, but maybe you should set your sights a little lower. You're just not going to get into a top 10 agency. Sorry guys you just don't have it, and its about time someone was honest with you.
Good Luck though.
It will only scare graduates that are not producing work better than their innocent scamps or other stuff Jai/Wal have produced.
They should be fresh, full of ideas and enthusiasm and not worried at all about a team who have been going around in circles for three years as you put it!
I'm sure they'll get there in the end...
The people in your year Wal, on your course, where at they now?
Are they in jobs? In advertising? Did they get them within 6 months?
It'd be interesting to see where you're at in comparison to your peers. I don't say that to put you down if others found a job quickly, you've had job offers I remember you saying and I actually think you're a good AD.
"We had our first couple of days at the Bank and there are some great briefs on our desk. After dark we sit down and get out the special pens to work on spec work for our portfolio."
You're thinking like a team looking for your next book crit. You should be looking to get a job. So work on the great briefs on your desk during the day, and then after dark, keep working on the great briefs on your desk.
Get good real ads made. For real. Not just pretend. Then you can win real awards. Or impress your CDs at the Bank and get a real job. One that pays real money. You need to change your thinking or you'll never break out of this cycle you're in.
Keep it up boys. Not too keen on this campaign, but great that you're pushing on. Be relentless. Hold back on execution until the idea is brilliant. Come see us sometime, it's lovely and sunny out west!
Jai and Wal, ignore everything said in this blog. In fact ignore everything both of you have ever done in the last three years. Get rid of all your old work. Get rid of "The Team That Hasn't Got A Job In Advertising For Three Years" stigma. Then follow the advice Graham Fink wrote at the end of your (now disposed of) book.
I agree with anon 5.17. It's important to improve your portfolio but while you're on placement/freelance, you guys should be busting your guts out to crack those briefs in front of you. You have to show the ecd that you guys are better than the teams he's already got. Get your priorities right and i truly believe you two will get a job. Good luck boys, and always stay positive, and work hard:)
Good luck guys, forget the doubters. At least you're barve in showing your work. Don't think this work is any good mind. But do certainly work on bigger brands, bigger thoughts, ideas that no one has ever thought of and go mad with them, not just posters!
W&J
I hope you respond to this thread rather than saying a few words and choosing to ignore everyone as usual, good or bad advice you should speak up a bit more.
Some people are trying to help but judging from the Innocent idea it's maybe a bit late.
One word. Strategy. Your thinking is poor, it's all very well having nice art direction but advertising is nothing without a good idea, it's sounds obvious but I just don't get why you are still struggling.
It's not about wearing cool t-shirts, being a bit wacky or having a mullet, it's about being able to come up with really good ideas day after day.
Some people can do that, others simply can't.
Who am I to say give up on trying to get a job, thats down to you too but I really think your thinking should be a lot sharper than this after several years out of college.
With some teams it's just clicks what is required, a book of really good, different, fresh, fun thinking.
So, J&W, what do you really think... are you getting frustrated, worried, angry or is the sun still shining?
I hope it click soon and you get a job somewhere.
Wal and Jai, don't look at working on agency briefs and working on ideas to improve your book as two separate things. If you crack the agency brief, that can go into your book. Good work that has actually run will impress CDs a lot more than your scamps.
If you actually believe that you are cut out for this business, you should believe that you can conceive and produce portfolio-worthy work on real live briefs. The fact that you say you have good briefs on your desk but think you need to pursue ideas like this alien fruit shows a lack of faith in yourselves to actually do the job.
Jai & Wal
Q: Out of interest how many placements have you been on and where? which was your favourite?
we've been on 4 placements together.
lowe, leo burnette, wieden+kennedy and adam&eve. w+k was our favourite, followed by Leos.
Did you get any work out at any of them?
what about
IRIS
& JWT
??
iris & jwt was with my former partner kristin.
at w+k we produced a lurpak banner campaign, and press ads for john lewis at lowe.
Do Lurpak and John Lewis make your folio?
Didn't you two have a placement at AIS years ago too?
I might get lynched for this, but I'm ready for it.
As I recall, when you posted up that O2 SIM game you did while at Agency Republic the comments were, for the most part, positive. Maybe everyone was just having a good day, but why not explore the alternative media side to your executions? Could be that you're a team that fares better with new media than posters, I know that's true for me, which is why I chose a "digital" agency. Play to your strengths and all that.
Just a thought :)
Don't give up your day jobs boys..oh..my mistake you haven't had one pushing three years.
Seriously though I think after all the agencies and briefs you've been through you shouldn't be churning out work like 'Innocent' now.
How come none of these placements have led to anything more?
Hey guys.
I think one campaign a week is great if you can stick to it. It'll make you better and faster as the more ads you do, the more you'll develop. Bang them out, see what works, leave what doesn't. Move on. The key here is to work yourself into a frenzy. The more you write the more likely you'll hit something good.
What I'd take from this campaign is there's something in getting children to eat healthy.
The fact that children couldn't identify vegetables in Jamie Oliver's School Dinners was quite shocking. I think this is because we've become detached from our food and got used pre prepared meals.
Getting children to care about what's going into their food might be an interesting direction.
Bearing in mind advertising directly to children is a contentious subject, press ads might not be the way to execute an idea.
What about a cook book for children? What about a grow your own smoothie set? What about a phone app that you can scan the bar code of a product and it'll tell you what percentage of it is natural?
Fake tweets of Innocent fruit growing that tells a story?
Would it be funny if you got a friend request in Facebook from a Strawberry? Or Lemon? You could add a funny message with it about getting to know natural fruit.
Hope this helped.
Jp its all very well congratulating them on doing a new campaign a week but i think the comment before you was trying to say that they have had 3 years to do that and been in great agencies so why is their standard of work not reflecting that.
Could it be a competition sponsored by innocent; who can invent the best smoothie? most fruit in it? most original new flavour?...
You need to somehow engage with kids if that's your desired target audience.
Could you involve schools?
Smoothies on sale in school? Vending machines that are purely healthy, no chocolate/sweets/crisps, just apples, nuts, and innocent...?
An on-line game, semi educational? Collect fruit along the way? Missions to earn enough of the right fruit to make certain existing smoothies?
Snacks could be your enemy?
Just things I've quickly considered , no real thorough thinking has gone into it but might help.
All this line if doing is making you produce a bunch of posters that are the same idea done again and again, come on guys, we were told not to do that at uni! You're going backwards!
To Anon 08:09
I know what the person's point above me was.
It's become a running thing about how long it's taken them to get their first perm job.
(I think a separate post about this might be good to clear it up Jai&Wal)
As far as I'm concerned the guys are trying to get better. That's something to support regardless whether they should be better by now or not.
The fact they want to get better and are trying isn't something to discourage.
I'm all for harsh reality but only when you say why and how to change things.
But Jp im sure as you said a lot of peope are supporting these guys, but if after three years they are still producing uni standard work and have had all that time to improve and have not found a job (recession or otherwise) when should you start to consider other options? I guess the longer it takes the less likely you are to give up and wan't to waste those years searching but then again sometimes you need to face the hard facts that you may not be up to the job and maybe just being known for your blog and not your work isn't always a good thing.
So nice to hear all of J&W's replies to the feedback given!!
I really don't get why you choose not to say nothing, it's gives the impression you are just smiling fools.
Reply!
choose to say nothing
or
choose to not say anything
(two negatives and all that - doesn't make sense to write choose not to say nothing! If they chose not to say nothing, they in fact they must have said something going by your statement)
to be fair 5:25 Wal has commented numerous times, the last being yesterday.
Perhaps he's just not saying what you expect/ want him to?
They never seem to stick up for themselves, they should be confident about their own work - shit or otherwise.
@happy, we love all digital, we're seeing some people about that as well :)
@jp, great advice, love the cookbook for children and the smoothie set. maybe even a fruit guide in form of a comic?
@lee, nice stuff as well, we appreciate your help
@5.25 we can't reply all the time, we do have a day job where an agency trusts us to create work for their clients.
Anon 04:48
When to quit and consider other options is a very personal decision. I think you know yourself when to give in.
I would never tell someone to quit. Not while they still wanted it and wanted to get better. I'm not qualified to tell someone that and I don't think I have the right.
I would say the work's not good enough yet from what I've seen and time is ticking so get good fast in what ever way possible. But the guys seem humble enough and are doing things to improve so I don't.
In addition, landing freelance work shows they must be doing something right. If you can't do it you wouldn't get another gig.
Whether they're work is good enough to land them their dream job is totally a different matter from telling them to quit. As is when to just take a job as a stepping stone.
I think you should always think about options. Regardless who you are or at what level. You can't work in advertising as a creative forever, very few do. So it makes sense to think about what else or how to extend your career any way.
anyone in the industry who believes the recession isn't making getting a job in a creative department hard is a fucking wally. most of you are worried about losing your jobs and yet making it sound as it'd be a doddle to get in these days. shut up and go organise the next plinky-plonky tune for your upcoming 'healthy and local' advert.
Getting a job as a creative is impossible at the moment, will probably be impossible for at least a year.
Sorry, but true...
yep and then there will be a whole new load of grads competing for the same very few jobs.
Good timing Jai & Wal...
http://www.campaignlive.co.uk/news/901481/Innocent-Drinks-kicks-off-another-advertising-pitch/
innocent always have a pitch on
Stop it, all of you.
It's like whacking eager little puppies with a slipper!
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